weblog@wonderwinds

Well, arrays are actually quite nice. It's dealing with the god damned things that pisses me off to the point where I decide arrays in and of themselves suck. Suck a big fat leprous dick. I hate arrays when they suck. I like them when they array nicely, but for the most part they don't. I'm sitting here with a healthy buzz on wondering exactly what "SG" wants from my world (and bet your ass that psycho bitch wants something cuz she aint never had a thought in her subhuman head other than aquisition of assets and the utilization of others) and trying to figure out why I need to and how I'm going to deal with an array that does nothing more than deal with an array I already created. I was so proud of that nice orderly little array. An array of arrays no less - one of the really neato arrays our planet has available. Aw for christ's sake just gimme three thousand god damned variables and I'll deal with them. Tell me a fucking variable is actually an element of an array that I'm going to have to access through its cock sucking class and I'm totally fuggered by it all.

*It* - not my family recipe egg nog.

My family recipe egg nog is the best egg blowme nog you're ever going to wrap your lips around and swallow. You take an 8 ounce glass of milk - FRESH milk - and three raw eggs. You crack the eggs gently so's you don't break the yolk or get pieces of nasty fucking egg shell in your nog and GENTLY introduce them to the milk. Use a big damned glass okay? See, you're adding three eggs with no shell pieces and unbroken yolks to eight ounces of cow juice so you're going to need a glass a wee bit bigger than all that. Where the hell was I? Oh yeah. Now you gotta mix this stuff all together, but don't be using no power tool on it okay? Just use a spoon, and don't get too nutso on it either. It's not a race and if you hurry it'll suck like your ugly sister doin' dick down on the dock. Okay so you slowly stir the eggs with unbroken yolks and no shell pieces into the eight ounces of very fresh grade A cow juice. The yolks is gonna break in there eventually, so don't get all a-twitter about it. Just don't be thinking "I better get all these fuckin yolks busted up right quick" cuz it's the wrong way to do it. So no biggie - you stir gentle as you was doin' a virgin and eventually the yolks pop. Now, sorta like with the virgin gal, you can start really laying into the mother fucker. Stir like a crazed egg nog stirrer till the shit starts foamin' up. Good!

Did I mention you're gonna need a small bit of nutmeg and maybe some cinnamon? Don't be using no lame-ass 'cinnamon sticks' - get fucking cinnamon okay? And don't be thinking "hey this shit worked last year so it's like totally cool still" because it ain't. You pretty much gotta use fresh fresh fresh or you're shit's gonna stink so bad even you're own mother won't change your diapers. So I hope I said you need the nutmeg and the cinnamon because you need them like earlier today, or maybe yesterday afternoon. Aw shit I forgot where I was again. OH YEAH!!! No problem - you got your unbroken yolks with no shell bits stirred gently then passionately into your eight ounces of high quality grade A joy-upon-joys milk, and you got some nice fresh nutmeg and cinnamon handy. Add a tiny pinch of nutmeg to your brew - just enough that you can see it on top the foam, then add double that amount of cinnamon. Again, add gently. This stuff should be like it's hangin' out on top of the foam you stirred up in your virgin-poppin' frenzy wonderin' why gravity doesn't seem to pull it down into this awesome holiday egg nog by an old family recipe. Okay now you take this glass full of obnoxious shit that comes from a cow's tit and a chicken's ass and toss it out the door, get yourself a triple-shot glass and fill it full of Kentucky sour mash, and slam it.

I love holiday egg nog. I'm gonna name my next array "sour_mash".