weblog@wonderwinds

Here I am farther east than I'd ever like to be, with intentions of heading further east in the morning. Such is the life of a professional driver eh? Got 4 hours and change of driving in the morning before my drop, then 3 hours to my next load, then I gotta grind out the balance of my 11 heading west again. 1600 miles west - woohoo! I still enjoy the driving, but man this shit has really gotten to me lately. I was in a total down mood for a couple of days and couldn't snap the fuck out of it. Talking with the BGF was more whining and bitching than actually talking So here's why.

A few days ago I found myself in Meridian Mississippi, 7 and a half hours into a fresh load. Awesome drive time, awesome load. Got a break for a pee and a coffee, got back on the highway, and promptly broke down. The truck, not me. Without going into details, I had to walk the shoulder of the highway for 3 miles to get a cell phone signal. The tow truck picked me up then we picked up the truck and got towed down the road a bit to a dealership where I spent the night and bulk of the next day. Finally got another trip and had more electrical problems with the truck, so I ended up in a terminal for maintenance. That ended and I waited the rest of that day for a trip. And I did some math.

Follow up:

2 or 3 days ago I figured out I had averaged 220 paid miles per day out on the road. That is less than I made as a student, less than a minimum wage job, and less than I am allowed to deduct daily on income tax for my per diem. WTF? One trip later I find myself on the way to Massachusetts ... with another electrical problem and an average up to 225 per day. Today I learned my next trip takes me all the way back to Texas and, when done ... if I don't end up in a shop again, will bring my average up to 250 miles per day. It takes 300 per day to equal my income as a student driver so I don't see that happening during my first time out on the road, but on the plus side I'm learning lots of shit about how to make the miles happen.

Got my lunch cooker now. So I can heat up canned food every other day and save myself a ton of money. Also just got a CB radio in the truck but the wiring is bad so I had to cobble something together. I need it for the next customer, and have already seen great value in having it (which really means great price in not having it) so there you go. Still don't have a 12-volt cooler but that'll happen eventually. It's all about getting everything in it's place as soon as it is out of place, and making sure it's place isn't something it'll bounce out of when the road gets rough. Except coffee. Almost impossible to make coffee not bounce out of a coffee cup when it is a new cup Except for get a refillable mug that works in the truck's cup holder I guess.

I got my first home time scheduled too. Just under 2 weeks, I'll be home for 6 days.

Anyway attitude adjustment is important shit. I've been totally down about this low miles average and shitty income, and how it's now down to "house or car" and what the fuck am I out here for if minimum wage can put me in the same bind only let me sleep in my own bed and all that. So ... snap out of it eh? When I quit Intel I made the decision that I could lose everything I own as long as I keep my sobriety, and I still have no urge to drink. That job, good job though it was, was a horrible burden on my mind. With it gone I feel much better in all regards, so it's time to recall the original deal. So if the house goes away then so be it. The car is cheaper and closer to ownership, and much fucking cooler. Lori and I have been talking about maybe I rent from her if I lose the house, so I talked to her about it and we're gonna figure something out. Neither of us is much into the idea of 24/7 relationship stuff, but both of us are into each other. So something will work. Anyway as soon as I figure "fuck it the house is gone and life is good" I get one good trip followed by one awesome trip.

Attitude. Somehow, in some way I can't yet put my finger on in my mind enough to clearly articulate, attitude is what some folk call "God". And the power embedded in that concept is freakin amazing.